I was just telling my sister tonight that I'm mentally prepared for this new adventure that we are headed into. I still have a lot to do to prepare to go, but I think in my mind, I'm good to go. Now I'm looking back and I think that is probably about 75% true. I'm seriously ready for us to be a family again. I'm not ready for the day Billy leaves us to go on his first deployment. I'm ready to get into a new house and all the fun that comes with decorating and such. I'm not ready to have to decide which of my family heirlooms I get to keep and which ones I have to give up because we have too much furniture. I'm ready to make some new friends that our family can depend on and who we can be there for in return. I'm not ready to say good bye to the people I've met here in my little town and the friends I have close by whom I've know most of my life. I'm ready to be 2 minutes from a grocery store rather than 30 minutes like we are now. I'm not ready to set my GPS every time I get in the car because I will have absolutely no idea where I'm going or how to get back home. I'm ready for my children to meet some kids who all know what it is like to live without their daddy for long periods of time. I'm not ready to wipe my kids tears as we leave their friends behind. I'm ready for having a home in a neighborhood with people who all understand the life we live. I'm not ready to hand my baby cats over to complete strangers because we can't take them with us.
I'm not ready to give up all the quick spontaneous weekend road trips home to see my family. I'm not ready to now be living further away than anyone else in the entire family. I'm not ready to leave the only home I've ever known my entire life. I'm not ready. Not really.
I'm sure one day, I'll look back and realize just how much of a blessing all of this is. And I'm already seeing some of the wonderfulness ahead. I have to stay positive and have faith that all of this will work out. Getting yourself ready for something wonderful and knowing you're leaving behind something just as wonderful is not an easy thing to do.
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