Apologies

I go back and read what I wrote last time... I realize I sounded selfish and possibly even hateful. But I guess it had to be said and that's that. What I said was a long time brewing and I guess after a night of less than 3 hours of sleep, I snapped. There's a little picture floating around the internet and it says, "Forget sleeping like a baby... I want to sleep like a husband."

So... moving on.

I spent the better half of Friday putting together and organizing Billy's "love me" book. What is a love me book? Well, it is basically everything that  the Army has ever given Billy in the form of paper. All his orders, his pt score cards, forms and more forms, training certificates, awards, receipts, medical slips... etc. It's a great thing to have on hand when you're about to be transferring posts. And just imagine if you will... a 3 ring binder - 3 inches wide... full from top to bottom and probably weighs about 10 pounds. That's Billy's love me book. The main reason I'm trying to get this together is that his ERB (enlisted record brief) is all kinds of jacked up. It says he never went to college, never had any army training, and basically everything that is supposed to be on there ... isn't. I'm pretty sure that it is up to his chain of command to turn all these forms in to the appropriate department to have this document updated regularly... but well... I laugh in the face of that without even being able to finish saying it. Long story short... he's got to get that crap fixed and before we leave. If he wants to have any chance of getting promoted to E5 he's got to have all this stuff straight so that his points will all be counted. (points = promotion)

Speaking of promotion... I have one more little bit to fuss about. See, Billy was on top of the list to head out to WLC (warrior leadership course) which should help him get his promotable status quicker. BUT... someone decided to flip out. And by someone, I mean the most pointless person in his unit. She is never there... never works when she is there... always messes up something that requires a major cleanup when she does work... and then never has to clean up because she always has to leave early for some kind of bull crap. (don't get me started on why I think women with small children should not be active duty) Anyway... she gets wind that Billy is on the top of the list and throws a fit and basically goes over everyone's heads and complains to the commander. Everyone agrees that she is not E5 material, but because she has had more time (like 40 days) in the army than Billy, she got him booted off the list completely. So, where we thought he'd have his promotable status coming into Campbell... that will likely not happen now. It was yet another blow to the gut. It's just not his time here I guess.

So... moving on.


Anyway. I'm supposed to be doing Statistics homework. So, bye then.

I am one person (caution: major rant)

Sometimes I just feel like I'm being pulled in 1000 different directions. A lot of it I put on myself by not telling people NO, but then some of it is just the nature of how things are right now. I never and I mean NEVER just get to do what I want to do without having to hide from anyone or explain to anyone or to make anyone upset. I was supposed to get a week's break from my kids this summer while I got to sit at home in a quiet house and do nothing for 7 straight days, but then mom got sick and I ended up having to go take care of her. (I'm not complaining... just stating that it isn't in the cards for me to ever have alone time) Sometimes I just want to sit on my couch and watch 12 hours of meaningless TV for no reason at all. I don't want to make anyone a meal or cup of milk. I don't want to take the dogs out to go to crap in the yard. I don't want to have to talk to someone about their day when no one ever asks me how my day was. And sometimes I just don't want to sit on the porch and watch other people smoke while their children tear apart my house. (ok... that's a bit harsh but slightly true). I want to be able to go the grocery and buy my nasty little diet hot pockets and have them in the freezer for me and me only and not fight with my kids about eating one every friggin day! They're MINE! I shouldn't have to share everything - like my quiet time in the bathroom or my bottle of water or my computer. My kids (and by kids I mean Allison who is surging with unfamiliar hormones right now.... ugh) think I'm never there for them when I go and sit on the neighbors' porches and talk even though they are right there with me playing and fighting with the other kids. And then if I don't go hang out with the neighbors they start to think I'm getting all Glitter Mama, Soccer Mom, or Luck Lady on them. (three neighbors who used to come around a lot and then one day just stopped). I should never complain about this because I haven't had this kind of friendship since college almost 20 years ago and I wouldn't trade it for a million bucks - which I could really use right now since payday was yesterday and we are down to $11 in the bank. Do not join the Army for the money.

I don't even get to sleep in - and by sleep in I mean not being woke up at 4:20 in the morning by my husband who wants to talk about whatever before he goes to PT. Just let me SLEEP! I don't even get to sleep when I am asleep because I have to wake up in the middle of the night to take the damn puppy out or he'll pee all over his kennel. And when he does make a mess, even though there are four other capable people in this house, I'm the one who has to friggin clean up after the little pissy crapper. I give my kids chores so that they'll become productive human beings, and so I don't feel like I'm going to snap from cleaning up after every single person who just feels like leaving their junk all over the house... but then I spend more energy reminding and reminding and reminding and when they finally do it, I spend even more energy trying to make sure they do it right the first time so I don't have to spend EVEN MORE energy yelling at them to come DO IT AGAIN! So... ok... house is clean... kids are "in bed," husband is asleep... dogs have pooped, dishes are done, floor is vacuumed, and I finally get some time alone. What do I get to do in my spare time???? FRIGGIN HOURS of FRIGGIN stats homework, which by the way is the hardest thing I've ever done in my FRIGGIN life! So when I finally get to go to bed at 1 in the morning, I get to sleep MAYBE 3 hours before the alarm goes off and husband wants to talk. And if I don't talk, I'm the bad guy because he is never ever ever home and I never ever ever get to talk to him and he just wants some damn attention every once in a while. He wants attention. I want sleep.

 I am one person. With two arms and two legs... so how is it I'm being stretched in fourteen different directions? This is what happens to people before they end up on the show "Snapped."

OK... rant over. I put in our housing application for Fort Campbell. The sgt, who is trying to get Billy early report date worked out, sent him a message four days ago that she would call him with info and never did. At this point, I just want to be there before Christmas. That's four months away.

Home Again Home Again... Jiggety Pig

Ok... we spent four whole weeks in Kentucky. Mom was doing well when we left, but I think she will be lonely and oh so bored. She won't be able to drive until this coming week, so I hope her peeps back there are helping her out.

But I'm back. And I never quite got to share our experiences at Fort Campbell. First of all, the drive was super easy from mom's house to post. That was an awesome plus! No major interstates - just all simple county roads. It was very beautiful. But we got to meet up with my buddy who I met online, who is in the same boat as me (new to the army) and her husband is stationed at Fort Campbell. It is kinda cool. So, we had some coffee and talked about Jane Austen movies - that's why I love her so much - and then me and the kids took off to post.

Fort Campbell was nice - a lot smaller than Bragg and a LOT easier to figure out the streets... hardly any one-way streets. But we managed to drive through every single neighborhood that we would possibly get into and by the end of the day, I realize it won't matter where we live... really. If we end up in a shack with three and a half walls, then that's fine. I can't stress about it. I'll put my application in (more details on that coming up) and request a garage and a fence - and then just hope for the best. Billy on the other hand is not so sure about Fort Campbell housing. It seems as though he has become spoiled to the housing here on Bragg - which is sooooo much nicer. Well, I say that... Campbell does have really nice housing. For E6's and above. If you are a lower enlisted, they basically say "No Soup for YOU!" and that's the end of it. But the lady at the housing office said I could go ahead and put in my application now (even without orders) and at least get in position. The required documents won't be there, but it'll be an open application and that's what matters.

So, now I'm like ready to go tomorrow. I just want to get this over with. I don't like not knowing what is going on. As if you didn't already know that. Billy is talking with one of his old sgts that moved on to Battalion and she is trying to get his request for an early report date. But from the looks of it, it is still going to be around December at the earliest. That's OK with me I guess... that is only four months away. I can get my bucket list of things I want to see and do in NC done in this four months. Well, maybe. If I have any money in the world. I want to drive out to the Outerbanks, to Myrtle Beach, and the Biltmore. Three major road trips in four months. Bleh. Yeah, I don't know how feasible this really is. I have other things on my bucket list as well.... like clean out the garage. But I just got home. I need a week to be unproductive before I can start any major projects.

Speaking of projects.... I am in my second week of Applied Business Research and Statistics. ERMAHGERD! It is 100% Greek. Like literally. The symbols for the formulas look like ancient hieroglyphics.