Wednesday, September 19, 2012

ANNNDDD We're Off!!!

So yeah... I started my first class in my Master's Program today. I have to admit, yesterday I was really feeling down and quite frankly a little scared to death about this school thing. It was only magnified when I tried to look at the other students' biographies in my class. We're talking some high executive professionals, some major international traveling corporate gurus... and then there is me... "the stay at home military spouse." I feel just a little out of my league. Well that was yesterday. Today I go into the first class discussion and these folks are no different than me. They even make grammatical errors. Thank you Lord! I'm still a bit intimidated because I have so little to bring to the table, but then again... maybe I don't need to bring much - just pick and chose what I want to carry home with me. I could very well learn a lot from these over achievers.

But speaking of yesterday and all it's crappiness. Billy's truck battery is acting all dumb. So, I went to jump his car off after his class and it kept acting funny. So, he takes it up to Auto Zone where we bought the stupid battery a year ago and we were 15 days too late. They would have guaranteed it within the year. But it was Sept 18 and the thing expired Sept 3. GGRR!!!!!! Whatever. It's up and running today - we pray. I'm going to be on call for if he needs me to come get him after his class.

What class you ask??? Well, he's in Radiation Officer school. Basically it just means that he will get to play in the gas chamber a lot. It also means that he will be posted at headquarters - we think. Lord knows that will change tomorrow since I typed it out here today. Stupid army.

But I have great news!! Little William hasn't wet himself at night for almost two weeks!! I'm still not convinced to let him get out of pull ups at night, but we are just that much closer! I'm thinking the "light switch" must have been hiding at school and he found it when he became such a big school boy.

But that's all today. I have to go spend my last $20 on gas so that I can go pick up my dear husband if his truck dies again. Wanna know how I got $20?? I sold that dern couch I've been holding onto for dear life for years and years. Twenty friggin dollars. I shouldn't fuss. I probably could have paid someone that to come haul it off for me.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

What have I done??

Well... I decided to start the master's program. Yup... I'm back in school! Well, I will be in about a week. I just don't know what to think about this. But I did it and there's no turning back now! I guess since William is in school for a couple hours every morning, I just needed something to fill in those hours and since I can't sit still and be quiet for that long... I figured "Go back to school!" So, here we go! I remember doing school last time and how I needed this blog to kind of keep the sanity to vent out my day to clear my head before I could start on school work. Maybe this will get me motivated to keep up this blog. Who knows... I always have the intention of writing something but then never do.

So I guess you want a recap of the past couple of months...

My baby boy started school. It broke my heart to see how big (yet tiny) he was as he walked in the school gym that morning and sit on the gym floor with all of his fellow pre-schoolers. For just a brief moment I saw a flash of anxiety shadow his little precious face, but then as quickly as it was there - it was gone. Now, he's been going for three days and though he fought me this morning about getting dressed ("I don't WANT to go to school!!"), he seems to be doing very well! I've got to make sure he stops pushing his friends... according to the teacher. I have no doubt he is. But we had a talk about it.

Allison is Allison. She fell off her bike about a week ago and managed to rip the skin off her knee in true kid fashion. Bless her heart. She won't hardly walk on the leg. It's nuts. But she started 4th grade and is doing spendidly. We've decided she is the "child whisperer." She can write out a little script, enlist some three and four year olds as actors, rehearse and then perform these incredibly adorable plays for the parents. Not even lying when I say it was the cutest thing I've ever seen!! Not only that, but when she is around the little kids, she just has this way of making them get along and some how keeps their attention for an incredibly long time.

Emma started middle school. Emma started beginning band. Emma started cheerleading. Emma is starting to grow up a little too fast. It's like she is just this little woman child. And soooo pretty! I mean it! She is going to be (and kinda sorta already is) a true knock out! My struggle now is to keep her as humble as possible for as long as possible. She is dying to wear make up and I simply refuse. But she doesn't need it anyway. She's gorgeous. Like, how in the world did she get such perfectly straight teeth?? Lord knows that isn't a gene Billy and I passed down. Thank goodness that blue hair dye she put in about three months ago is finally starting to wash out. ugh.

Billy? Well, let me sum up Army life over the past two months. "Did anyone tell you that you have to do this thing today?" "no,sir." "Well, today you are going to do this." "ok" "No, nevermind, you're going to do that tomorrow." "Ok." "Well, really you probably need to do it today." "ok" "Well now you can't do it today because too many other people are doing it." "ok" "So, do it tomorrow." "Ok" "Well that is full and you can't do it tomorrow either. So you're going to do it next month." "Ok" (next month) "Sir, I need to do that thing you told me to do last month." "Well, why are you telling me, PRIVATE! Who do you think you're talking to? Don't you think I know what you're supposed to do and when to do it?" and then he never gets to do that thing at all. Sometimes I hate the Army.

As for me... Well, other than cleaning, applying for masters programs, and hanging out with friends... not too much has been going on. Ok I lied... I did have to go back home to bury my dad's parents. It was hard to digest that I lost three grandparents in a six month span. But there you have it. I did. And even though I will miss them, it was really great to get to go home and spend some time with my dad.

So there you go... a recap. I've got lots more to share and maybe I can do that soon. But I want to tell about my book club, Billy's job, and other things. Hopefully, I'll get back on here and keep this up now that I'll be back in school. back in school. Good grief... what have I done?

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Afro Circus

OK so if you'll remember, our TV decided to die back in January. It was still under warranty and we were able to get it fixed and all was fine and dandy. Then back in April it bit the dust again. So, the very same repair guy came out and worked on it. He told me that the service plan we had only allowed for four visits per service contract. We'd already had three so if our TV dies again, they'll have to replace the TV. So.... guess what. Night before last, the TV went out again. I swear to you. I have no idea why this TV hates us, but there you go. So, I had to call the Geek Squad and the guy on the phone kinda gave me an inquisition on this whole TV thing. He made me feel like I was not telling the truth. But I guess he has to. I'm just not sure what to expect. All I know is that I've been spending a lot of time upstairs because no one wants to be downstairs without a TV.

Also, last night Billy and I were having a discussion. He was being crabby and he was making me crabby so I had to discuss something with him. So, as I'm hoovering over his face trying to explain my feelings (which were all sour from his being a butthead earlier in the day), he apparently had his phone down by his side, and without even looking at it found this video clip. Right as I was about to really go into my very well prepared conclusion to my rantings he whips his phone out and shoves it right into my face with this....



I seriously tried to stay mad at him. And every time the song looped, he would change position on his phone for a more dramatic effect. He'd set it straight up, then he'd turn it sideways, then he'd put it on my head then he'd put it on his head. I wanted to bite his face, but the more he played it and the more upset I got, the more he laughed. I mean like laughing so hard he wasn't making any noise, and his face turned a shade of purple that could only be compared to that of a heart attack victim. So he finally broke me when he stuck the phone right up to my ear and he let out this guffaw that just cracked me up. I guess that's his way of apologizing for his behavior earlier in the day. Yeah, I kinda love that man.


And no I'm not forgetting... I wanted to save the best for last. So, Allison turned 9 yesterday. I went and got the girls out of school early so we could go do something fun. We drove to this place we'd been hearing about called Smith Lake. It sounded like a lot of fun. We get there and it looked like a forgotten old park with absolutely nothing. So that was a bust. We decided to go back home. Allison said she would be happy just going to get a cake mix and baking herself a cake. So that's what we did. We'd already given her her birthday gift last weekend. We got her a bike - her first bike that wasn't a hand-me-down. She seemed pretty excited... if only the brakes worked. LOL!! But she's having a slumber party this weekend, so that'll be more to blog about I'm sure. Stay tuned. 

Monday, June 4, 2012

I confess

OK... confession time. Growing up, I had this horrible condition. I would pee my pants every time I laughed just really hard. As I've grown up, I don't do this anymore. I have one exception with this... and that is when my mother and my sister and I all get together... we ultimately laugh until I pee or someone starts coughing so hard they can't breathe - usually both. But like I said, this doesn't happen often. I have two theories for this... A, my bladder has gotten over its malfunction. And B, I just don't laugh like a crazy person anymore. UNTIL.... this weekend. I love my friends here. And boy howdy do they make me laugh!!! Saturday night, Lady on the Corner, Georgia Peach, KT and myself sat on my front porch swing playing Apples to Apples and had the absolute most fun. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. But my secret was quickly revealed that my bladder likes to join in the fun when it gets that intense. So... secrets out. I'm a wetter! I am confessing to the world! Trust me, I don't care at this point. I really don't.

There's a lot of things that I've started not caring about. Like I stopped caring what people think about me. I do not have any reason why I should hide the fact that I got a tattoo about a month ago. *smile* This wasn't a spur of the moment decision. It was a commitment ceremony for Billy and I. Or at least that's how I'm looking at it. Since we've joined the Army, our marriage has been stronger and better than ever before. And I just wanted to show my complete commitment to him. And he did the same for me. He also permanently inked himself. They aren't matching tattoos. But I got the girly version and he got the more manly one. Since we are both music lovers, we went with the music theme. Mine is a heart made out of a treble clef and a bass clef. (he's the bass and I'm the treble) I wanted to get three little eighth notes around it to represent the kids, but the guy who did mine couldn't draw a music note to save his life - thinking maybe he's in the wrong profession but whatever. So I'll add those later. Billy's is the two clefs together down the middle of his forearm. His looks awesome! So, there you go. Another confession!

I also need to confess, that I'm addicted to Pandora radio. Specifically, the Broadway Showtunes station. I have been singing with my whole heart over some West Side Story, Les Miserable, Cats, A Chorus Line, Chicago... even William joins in. The other day I heard his playing in his room singing, "And ALL... THAT... JAAAAZZZZZ!" Love that kid!! Even Emma got into it. When she heard the Hairspray tunes, she ran to her room and added the station to her list. yay!

While we're at it... I'll add one more. And this isn't my confession to add. But Billy's been a closet smoker for um... many years. And a month ago tomorrow he will have been completely smoke free! He went to this class offered on post and got put on some meds and even though he's struggling every day... he hasn't smoked and is doing really good. EXCEPT... he's putting on some pounds from all this. I hope this is just temporary. He can't get big like he used to be. That won't be good.

Speaking of Billy... this whole "it's gonna suck eggs" schedule that they kept shoving at his unit a while back... yes it is still gonna suck eggs, but not as much. Looks like they're trying to give him a couple days off here and there and maybe cut back the shifts to 8 hours. So, we'll see. I'm not as exctied or upset anymore. He still comes home and eats dinner... but he's not loving it all that great. I mean they're still outside in this horrible heat - all. day. long.  So what do you do?

Lastly... if school doesn't get out soon, I'm going to pull my hair out. So ready for summer. Now... in about two months... I'm sure I'll be saying the opposite. But there you go.


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Jacked - it's just all jacked up

The absolute unthinkable happened Saturday evening. We lost William. Like really lost him. We eventually found him, but it was about ten minutes of complete terror. Basically, we were wrapping up at a birthday party at lady on the corner's house. So, I decided to stay behind and clean up the yard to help out a bit and sent Emma back across the street with William. She made it into the house and assumed he had followed her. No... he got distracted by his bike and from what we can gather, decided to stay outside and play. He told us that a little kid on his bike told him to "go away from his house" and so he followed the kid to the park down at the end of the street (behind our friends' house). But of course, I don't know any of this. I go home to make sure he got out of his wet clothes (from playing in the water) and he wasn't in his room. So we all start looking. Nowhere. He's absolutlely nowhere. We go back to lady on the corner's house and he's not there either. Well that's when the panic sets in. And we end up hitting the streets calling out his name. Looking behind people's houses, in the woods, back in the house, back outside. All the mommas were searching in full force. And then I see Allison running towards me from the end of the street and I see Billy running towards where she was coming from. She was shouting out "MOMMMMAAA!!" For a brief second, my heart stopped. I knew he'd been found but not really sure why she was screaming my name like that. So yeah... Billy finds him and brings him back home. We all pile up in the bed and I hold my baby boy for a while still trying to calm down. I think the craziest thing is that just last week, we had talked about "strangers" and how to figure out who a stranger is. We did this at Walmart. And he kinda understood. But then you never think about another kid being dangerous. So when some kid tells him to take off down the road on his bike, well, good grief. That isn't good. Now we have the stranger talk often. A couple times a day. ugh. Billy's schedule is really kinda jacked up. It changes every day. We have no idea what is going on. He was told he would be working 30 days straight at 12 hour shifts. Then be off for 30 days. Next he was told he would work 6 days on and one day off for a month during days and then six on one off for nights for 30 days. Then he was told he would work 30 days straight at this new job during days, then go to the company and work 9-5 for a month, then go back to this new job and work 30 nights. Oh and then he was told that their shift would end at 6pm every night. And that's when they will do PT. So he wakes up at 4 am, gets to work by 5. Works from 6 am to 6 pm. Then goes and does an hour of PT which will get him home around 7:30 or 8. That gives him enough time to eat a bite, take a shower and go to bed. Blah. Of course, this will change in about 15 minutes, like every thing else. So I'm not getting excited over anything. It just messes with my head and really messes with Billy's. Moving on... Allison had her Team Party last night. It was fine. I got a little upset that she didn't get a trophy. Only a little medal and a "daddy doll." Daddy dolls are little stuffed soldiers dressed in camo and you put a picture of your soldier in the face of it for when daddies are gone. (I'm pretty sure those can be found free online - So I'm kinda wondering where my $20 went since we didn't get a trophy) It was super hot in the room and a certain group of people would not shut up! So that made me angry. But thus ends her track season. I am certain next year we will do soccer or cheer or something else. This was crap.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Who knows....

Yeah Billy didn't have a great day yesterday. He went to his class and did fine... passed his tests and everything. But as he was leaving, he was told to go back to the company to sign some papers. While he was there, he made the mistake of asking his First Sgt what all is going on with this new mission. First Sgt basically started yelling at him about "what do you mean, you don't know what's going on?" "Hasn't your squad leader or your platoon sgt told you anything?" and just kinda went on and on. Then he told Billy he had to report on Saturday at 6am for a twelve hour shift and to come back on Monday for another 12 hour shift. Blah!!! And so it begins... looks like Billy's not going to the headquarters. Looks like all the people in the headquarters are going to be the people who are no longer able to do this special mission job and people who are leaving the company. And since Billy isn't leaving and is perfectly able... well crap. Rumor right now is that they are going to be doing 12 hour days for three months and then twelve hour nights for the next three months. Then his commander was telling them that they can't take leave, go to school, take weekend passes, have any days off, and they won't get any weekends off (including four day holidays - there goes my anniversary weekend). But like I think I said yesterday... this could mean they are not a "the D word" - able company now with this mission. So which is better... having him come home every night - exhausted, not being able to go anywhere fun together, no being able to take any vacations. I just don't even know how to work this out in my mind. And maybe we are so off base and it won't be like this at all. Maybe this is all just so unknown that we won't know for a while if it's going to suck or not. Another thing, Billy found out that a friend of his from Basic died in a motorcycle crash yesterday. He was only 25 years old. How super sad!! He was training to be an explosives guy. Which is super hard and extremely dangerous, but then he ends up dying from a crash while driving around town. It just goes to show that you never know. And then more bad news... well I guess more bitter sweet than bad. Lady on the Corner's husband go orders to go to Drill Sgt school in January. Which means, once he is done with that they'll get orders to move to a training post - and no Fort Bragg isn't a training post. Sad!!!! Really really sad!! So in less than a year from now... she'll be packing up her family and moving on. SAD!!!!!! Right now, I'm waiting on the maintenance guy to come get the daggum bird out of my laundry room. See, I had called and told them that I saw a bird making a nest in my dryer vent. I saw the thing fly up into the vent on the outside of the house. So, the maintenance guy put a little mesh covering over the hole.... but didn't take the friggin bird out!!!! So he had no where to go but back into my house!I am very aggravated about this right now. But at least I was angry enough that I had to let off some steam and vaccumed my entire house up and down and even in between (the stairs).

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Two Months Later

So what's it like falling off the face of the Earth, you might ask??? Well, it is lonely and sad and crazy fun at the same time. There's no reason why I felt I needed to stop blogging for a while. I just didn't blog. And what is weird, is I still think in blog mode. Like, "oh I need to tell the folks about this." I suppose I need to catch everyone up... Me? Well, I've been having these anxiety filled moments of paranoia and confusion. I debated whether I should share this little bit of information with the world. And then I realized that this is a very common thing with military wives. I've been to the doctor and we are working towards a solution. I've been on anti-depressants for a few years - since after Allison was born. So they are tweeking that and trying to help me get some sleep and have more energy at the same time. Yeah, sleep has been a problem and that just makes me more anxious and then I start freaking out in the middle of the night... and well... I don't know. It's nothing huge. Just a little bit of craziness. The medicine they put me on is supposed to help me sleep. But it also turned me into an absolute zombie. I would sleep so hard that the next morning, I couldn't function until at least 10 or 11. It was awful. So I started only taking half the dose and things seem to be better. This may be a reason I've lost the gumption to write everyday and keep everyone informed on the Blackburns. So, I hope I can get this train rolling again. I have so much to tell you all!! So much!!! Emma? Well she's great. We had a little trouble there about two months ago where she was causing all kinds of petty drama at school and her teacher was losing patience. So, after a couple conferences and a real "Come to Jesus" meeting, we think we've got her to calm down a bit. I feel as though her behavior was her way of telling me that she wasn't getting enough attention (positive attention) and so she was going to make me pay attention to her. Things have been so much better since. I still have to bring her down here and there, but that could just be her tween emotions getting the best of her. And speaking of teachers... we found out this week that her teacher is out on sick leave "until further notice." So they had to bring in another subsitute. This will be her 7th teacher in fifth grade. GRR! No wonder she's acting like a looney toon. She gets used to a teacher and then they leave and she has to learn all over again and adjustment like that is difficult. Now I sound like a total butthead when I say all this because it isn't the teacher's fault she got sick. And I wish her the best because she was a super nice lady. All I'm saying is this has been year to remember. Only 20 more school days left. Whoo Hoo!! I'll be so happy to just sleep in and go hang out at the pool all day. Allison? Oh my goodness. Well, she's about to turn 9. And I'm pretty sure the body snatchers have come for her. Where this was the child who never gave me any greef over anything... she's starting to throw around this little tude and it is so not cool. BUT... her grades this year have been awesome. She always gets to best reports from her teacher. She's been running track this spring. And well, it's been a bit uneventful. Literally. They go to practice twice a week. And they've had one true meet. They had a "just for fun" meet with just their team running against each other and she did really well. But at the true meet... well, the lack of experience was apparent with her and most of the kids on her team. The teams we were up against were well trained and had their junk together. I think she ended up placing 17th out of 24 runners in her event. At least it wasn't last, right? But I think she's decided to do soccer next time. The track and field just wasn't all that involved. And I think she is just bored with it. William? OOOHHH William! This child has kept us super busy over the past few months. He's doing soccer as well. And he's been not too excited about doing "the soccer." I'd love to say that he's been the star player and tries super hard and gets into the game more than the other kids. But no... he likes to pick the grass or dig in the dirt. During the game. OR he likes to just walk around and make monster noises at kids - and they eventually get sick of it and push him away and then he gets all upset and total meltdowns gallore! I'm just glad my good friend "lady on the corner" is his coach and has patience with him. Now, she might very well go home and fuss about it, but I don't think so. Now... the other moms... well who knows about them. It's whatever. I'm never there for his practices anyway because his overlap Allison's and I unfortunately can't be in two places at once. So, between me, Billy, and "lady on the corner" we usually get everyone to practice on time. And... the other day I went and signed William up for pre-school. I didn't really cry, but my stomach was in knots the whole time. He's going to hopefully go to the morning sessions next fall. It almost seems unreal. What am I going to do with my mornings? Maybe go to the gym. LOL!! Oh and I guess Williams' biggest news is his little accident he had on Billy's birthday. The child was leaning over the recliner trying to look out the window and yell at his friends who were playing across the street. I'm on my way down the stairs and I hear what sounded like a baseball bat smacking a ball. The sound was actually William's head slamming against a wooden baby doll crib (one my dad made for my girls years ago) and he bascially split his head open. Billy just happened to be home because they gave him the day for his birthday. So we both run to him and as Billy picks him up, William is holding his forehead with his hands and blood is just gushing... running down his hands and between his fingers. I've never seen so much blood. Billy held a towel to it while I ran around gathering up cell phones, car keys, shoes and more towels. It was awful. We get to the ER and sure enough... he had 5 stitches put in there. He was a trooper though. Of course he cried and I know it hurt, but he was so proud of his ginormous booboo. He still talks about it. He's got a pretty hot pink scar now - right in the center of his forehead. Billy? Well there is just so much to share here... I may just have to list it all. * A while back someone in the Batallion Headquarters got whiff of their unit "the D word" to Africa. What? Really? eah, that is weird and not so good. However, that was never heard of again... so it could have just been talk. However, one of neighbor friends whose husband just got back from Afghan was told they are on some sort of stand by to go to Africa too. ugh. I hate that for her so very much. * Billy was told by his Commander that he was going to start working in the Headquarters office in the gas chamber. I find this very hilarious. That I get to tell people my husband runs the gas chamber. Of course, this is just the room that they test the gas masks. It isn't like what you think in terms of torture or mass killings. It's just to test equipment. However, this was like 3 weeks ago. And they told him that the First Sgt had to give the order to his platoon sgt in order for the move to happen. Billy's been in classes for three weeks now and no one has told him anything. So, who knows. * And see now, he's taking these other classes for some mission that his unit has been asked to do. Without giving too much away on a public website... he's going to be doing some senstivie things involving the traveling of other soldiers. So, they have him taking these classes that are only supposed to be for Sgts (E7's and above). He's only a PFC (E3). They said they would only make exceptions for Specialists (E4) who are up for promotion to be Sgt. So, for him to take this class is crazy. He was sitting in a classroom next to Captains and Lieutenants. Nuts, right? But this all goes back to this mission they are doing. Basically they are taking the place of the civillians who do this job there on post. This job is a 24/7, no holidays or weekends off, kinda bullcrap job. They are working on a schedule for the soldiers doing this job and it will be 12 hours on and 12 hours off. 6am to 6pm. 6pm to 6am. So I'm getting very nervous that he's not going to get this gas chamber job, and end up working the most crazy hours ever for who knows how long. One good thing about it, is Billy thinks because of the nature of this mission, it means they won't be able to "the D word." So, we'll see. He's also heard that because he is taking this class, he might get put in the office of this new mission thing. See, not everyone is taking this class. Only a very few were picked for the class. I honestly do not know what to think. * Oh and Billy bought me new living room furniture. YAY! We haven't had new furniture since 1998. I'm sooooo in love with it. It's a chocolate brown pleather material. (not real leather) And we have a couch, loveseat and recliner. And a new entertainment center. What about my old couch, you ask?? Well, I just moved it to the other living room. For some reason, I just can not let that thing go. But I am having a yardsale Saturday, so maybe I can get rid of it. We'll see. I know there is so much more I need to share. I can't really think of any of it right now. I don't know when I'll blog again. Hopefully not two months from now.

Monday, March 19, 2012

A little bit of a sunburn

Ok... so Friday Billy came home early after getting his Driving Certificate and went to sleep. So William and I took a loaf of bread and some grapes across to the street to the Lady on the Corner's house and had a little picnic with her kids. Then it was just such a nice day, we ended up staying outside to "get a little sun on our faces." As we sat there, a few more friends trickled in and after getting the older kids home from school, we had a whole party of people. So we decided to grill out (a very impromtu event). The kids were just playing in the sand (by the way, have I told you that we don't have dirt - we only have sand?) and playing in the water while the parents sat there talking. Even my husband came over and sat with us. It ended up being Billy and myself, Lady on the Corner and her husband who is an infantry guy, and the Lady with a Fun Name and her husband who is a medic. Lady with a Fun Name lives just a couple doors down from the Lady on the Corner and just like us, they are in their 30's and brand new to the Army. She's been here since around December but is just now coming around to where she'll talk to us. I think this move was hard on her. And really, we get it. Moving from a civilian life to a military life is nuts!! But... I'm getting sidetracked. So, yeah... we had a nice time just sitting on the back porch. Enjoying each other's company. We didn't go home until well after midnight. Usually, we would be in bed and sound asleep by then. It was just super refreshing to have some folks to hang out with and feel like we belong somewhere. I know that sounds silly. But Billy and I have never had any couples that we can just hang out with. It's like either I have friends or he has friends - but we've never all hung out together. It was just a nice day.

And I had another "I gotta have a yardsale" moment this morning. I got in the pets' room and saw a couple boxes of things that I knew we could do without. So, the more I think about it... the more I think I'm just going to have one. I'm going to get a table set up in the garage and just start hauling stuff out there. If I have enough stuff, I'll do it... If I don't, I'll just take it to a goodwill or thrift store somewhere. Only problem is that the closest Goodwill is like 45 minutes away. How is that even possible??? But I'd really like to have a yardsale so we can have a little extra money for our trip home.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

YouTube and its aftermath

Can someone please PLEASE PLEASE take YouTube away from my husband!??!! For Pete's Sake! About two weeks ago, he needed to replace the bulb in the headlight of his truck. So, he gets the brilliant idea to look it up on YouTube to see just exactly how to take all the parts off, clean them and reassemble them. All this was fine and dandy. But this also led to his obsession with watching all these 'how to' videos like "How to install air shocks" "How to put a lift kit on your Ford Explorer" "How to find the secret computer code on your truck to reprogram the security code keyless entry thingy." I'm not kidding!! He's been on a hiatus over this YouTube sensation. Now he's been looking at toy monster trucks and how to build bigger engines or install 4x4 kits and all this stuff. And yes, he already owns a toy monster truck. This is not a kid's toy. This is one of those adult men toys. So, last night he pulls the monster truck out of the closet (where it's been since 2006) and dusts off the old battery charger ready to do some major overhauling of his newly rediscovered toy -- only to be stopped short of the fact that he can't find the battery anywhere. OK... so, this thing has now been through three moves in the past three years. It's been packed and unpacked three times. Never used.. just shuffled about and shoved in the closet for "future" use. So... when he calls me last night as I am on the way to Allison's parent track briefing to ask me where the battery for this toy monster truck is... I'm like....um... in a box... somewhere... and no I do not know where. So guess what I got to do this morning?? Yup, dig through our "I don't know what to do with this crap and therefore will not unpack it and just keep moving it from house to house until it gets thrown away" box and low and behold there it was!!!! I was dreading the task like you have no idea. Going into that box just opens up so many overwhelming issues... I need to have a yard sale... I need a hoarders intervention... I need to stop keeping crap that I will never use... why is there a caulk gun in here? I am lucky that I found the battery within the first few minutes and was able to just put the top back on the box and walk away. Otherwise, I'd still be in this box digging and making a list of things that I just do not think I can tackle right now. Kinda like when this morning Allison came to me and said that she wanted to wear shorts but all her shorts were in the "summer clothes" box and could I please help her find some. So, I pull out this box and start digging through clothes and the same thing happens. I wonder if Emma can wear these yet... why are there a perfectly good pair of jeans in Emma's size in this box and not in her drawers where she can wear them now... we need to sit down and make everyone go through their drawers to start cleaning out their winter things...ooohh here are some perfect shorts for Allison to run in.

As I'm typing this out... I realize that I not only need to have a yard sale, but I need to do some major spring cleaning. And ALL this because Billy and his dern YouTube.


Army Life Update:
Billy's been in driver's training now for almost two weeks. He's doing well and is actually really loving it. Only problem is that his back and his shoulders hurt - from A. the seats in the vehicles are awful and B. he has to wear his helmet all the time. My thought was ,"you better get used to it because when you go over to the Afghanland, you're going to be wearing your helmet and driving these vehicles all the time. But what do I know??"

Kids Update:
Emma's been grounded for about 6 weeks now. I love her, Lord knows I do!!  But she just did some really dumb things all at the same time and it caught up to her and therefore she is under lock and key until (as of right now) March 23rd. See, I grounded her a while back and told her she would be ungrounded by the 15th - BUT if she gave me attitude or got in trouble, I would add one day to her punishment. You do the math. She kinda hates me right now. But I don't see any other way to get through to her. And I promise you once this punishment is over, I will do the same thing - ground her for a day every time she gives me grief. Oh and see the grounding isn't from playing outside... she's not allowed to do anything electronics (TV, computer, Ipad, phone...), she isn't allowed to have friends over or go to friend's houses, and when she plays outside - she has to check in with me every 30 minutes - if she's late, I add another day. Momma ain't playing!!!
Allison had a bit of a meltdown last night. I took her with me to the parent meeting for the track team. They were throwing out words like Track Meets, spikes for shoes, assessments, sports bras, spandex, sprinting, long jump, relays, invitationals, junior Olympics.... She just got a little overwhelmed. So right before bed she came and climbed in bed with me and Billy and said, "I don't want to do track anymore!!" Bursting into tears she admitted that it was scary and she didn't like to do new things. I said, "do you like to run?" She said, "yes." I said, "do you run well?" She said she guessed so. I told her that's all she needed to worry about. All the rest will just work out. I think she's going to be fine. Just have to get her excited about buying her new running shoes!!
William is William. We can't walk down the street unless he gets on his big wheel and tears up the pavement with his little plastic tires. The dog ate his new tennis shoes he got for Christmas so we had to go out and buy him some new ones. He got ones just like his Daddy and now he thinks he's big stuff!! He'll start soccer in a couple weeks. I'm a little stressed about it because his practices are the same days and times as Allison's track practices. So, that's going to be a bit of a juggling exhibition. I think that my neighbor is going to be his coach and if so, she can at least get him to practice and either Billy or I can come afterwards. I just don't know which parent is going to do which thing. Sigh...

My update:
Nothing much is new. I'm determined to get some sun on my legs as I look like a speckled white egg. And other than running here and there and everywhere... I'm just hanging in there. Laundry... dishes... coffee and catching up on some TV I've been missing. Oh and this must be the season for Home Product Parties. This week I'll have gone to three. Mary Kay, Jafra, and Thirty-One. All this in one week!! I just don't think my wallet can handle this kind of stress. The Mary Kay lady was a cousin of my neighbor who was in desperate need of some extra cash, so in my mind it was an act of kindness that I bought mineral foundation, eye make-up remover, and lip gloss. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Good news!

So I did actually get Allison onto the track team. We got a call this weekend and I'm very excited about this. She's always been such an athlete. And since there is no ball involved, she might actually be able to do this well! LOL! The only issue we are faced with now is getting her sports physical done and registering her officially and getting her new shoes and working her practice schedule around William's soccer schedule and then we'll eventually have games and meets which will likely all be on the same day and then trying to figure out a way to feed the family every night due to the fact that we'll likely be at some sort of practice here  or there or somewhere. Whew! I'm tired already!! But I don't have it near as bad. My neighbor had four kids - three of which are in separate sports and she is the coach of the 4 year olds soccer team. Lordy! I feel so sorry for her.
So, yeah... our friend's husband got back from his deployment and he seems to be fitting in well enough. I think he was a bit out of sorts for a while there at his welcome home party. I mean it would feel weird to have a welcome home party and not know a soul there. But he seemed to handle it OK.
And we filled out the leave request papers for our trip home. I'm seriously hoping this isn't the week that they were talking about going into the field. I wonder if he would get approved to miss that or not. Apparently 'going in the field' means camping out in a field and playing soldier for a week or so. Billy wonders why they would even need to do this. He is a cargo man. He loads and unloads stuff. He doesn't think he'll ever actually see any real action. But I think it would be fun to go camping like that. I could be wrong.
Speaking of going away for a week. Me and my coffee drinking friends have been pondering how we could take a long weekend and go to the beach. Just us gals. Just a mommy time out. It seriously sounds like a load of fun! I can only imagine all the men back home with all the kids. Oh man! I think I would have to "lose" my phone or it would be going off every six minutes. I just want to sit on the beach with my feet in the sand and read a book and laugh with all my friends. Oh well... we'll just have to see. It's wishful thinking at this point.
So yup... that's all I know for now.

Friday, March 2, 2012

In like a Lion

Yesterday, I'm driving down the road (on post) on my way to the CYS "child youth services" to sign Allison up for track ~ that's a whole other story; I'll get to that in a minute ~ when my phone rings. It's Billy.
Billy:  Hey
Me: Hi
Billy: So I just had to meet with the Commander and she said I'm out. We have until Tuesday to get all our stuff packed and move.
Me: .................................
Billy: Hello?
Me: ..........................................
Billy: Becky, I'm just kidding. (and then proceeds to laugh hysterically!)

Have you ever had a moment when words just aren't enough. When all you want to do box his ears or flick him in the sensitive areas??? OMG! I was soooooo freaked out. So Not Funny!

But see, he did meet with the commander and it was because she wanted to have him sign the paperwork to release his flag and remove the bar from reenlistment. So AMEN!! Such a relief! And see no one really knows this, but for the last few days we've been thinking we weren't going to get to come home to TN and KY in April because A. his flag was still out there and B. because he was supposed to get into a driving class in March and they didn't have him on the roster. This basically meant that he was going to have to take the class in April which was smack dab in the middle of our trip. I was pretty much certain that we were going to have to wait until the summer to take our trip because he was going to have to take that class. And see, this is where the meeting with the commander could not have come at a better time. After she releases his flag and stuff she asks him if everything was going well. He didn't want to be a complainer after all the nonsense the past few months, so he just said "Eh, it's fine." So, she asks him if he was able to take the driving class and he said that he didn't get put on the roster for March and that he was disappointed. She asked him why they didn't sign him up, and he said he simply didn't know the answer to that. So she gets on the horn with the Sgt over the class scheduling and basically says, "get him in the class even if you have to call another company and put him with them." WHOO HOO! I'm kinda loving this commander. (leave it to a woman to get $#!* done... I'm just saying) All of this went down yesterday and the class starts Monday. So, that's a pretty awesome turn of events. Especially since we've been thinking for almost a week that we were going to have to tell our family not to expect us until July. So yay!
So the long and short of it... Billy is off his probation. And he finally got into the class that he kept getting bumped out of.

Now on to the woes of sport sign ups. Sigh.... Back in January when soccer sign-ups opened for our neighborhood, I was broke. Our budget was cut so thin, we had to wait until payday to sign up the kids for any sports. So by the time we show up to fill out the insane amount of paperwork just to have my kids kick a ball around for a couple months, the teams are all filled up for Allison's age group. William got in just fine. Allison's number 4 on the waiting list for soccer. Which means they just need one more coach to volunteer for the eight year olds. I kept thinking maybe... just maybe someone would drop out, move or another team would form and she could get to play. But apparently no such luck. So after a little bit of discussion, Allison decides she would do track and field instead. I call CYS and they say there is no wait and that I just need to come in and fill out the papers - hence my trip yesterday. But when I get there, I'm told that she is number 18 on the wait list. Angry doesn't begin to describe how I felt. UGH!!! Total waste of my time driving up there. Now, I just don't know what to do. She would have been fantastic at either of these sports. I just wish there was something else we could do. And no, I do not think I could coach. I already went down that nightmare about 6 years ago when I coach Emma's peewee cheer squad. I decided then and there that I would never ever ever ever ever EVER coach a kid sport again. Parents are friggin nuts when it comes to their children in competitve sports.

And here we are finally in March. The weather has been spectacular. Mid 70's and breezy. It's glorious!! I'm dying to take a drive to the beach soon. Maybe in the next couple weeks we can take off on a Saturday and drive down to Myrtle Beach for the day. That would be terrific. We've pretty much felt trapped since October. Well of course, me and the kids got to come home for my grandmother's funeral. But it was such a stressful time I didn't feel like we had much of a visit. I'd say we could go to the beach tomorrow, but my friend's husband just got back from a deployment this week and we are all going to celebrate and welcome him home. It's kind of weird that we've all gotten to know the girl so well and heard so much about her man, that to finally meet him... it's just cool I guess.
So, I'm off to the store to pick him up a welcome home gift and grab some groceries.

I sure do miss blogging. I need to make myself do this more often.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Vomit Fest 2012

It seems like every year we become plagued with a stomach bug. It will make its way through the family one at a time and usually one or two of us are spared. Nope. Not this time. This thing hit with a fury that I've never seen before. It started with William. Then spread to Allison. Then to me. Then to Emma. Back to William. And then finally hit Billy. Bam! Bam!! Bam!!! I really don't want to relive the events, so I'll spare you any details. But I certainly think we're good for another year or more with no stomach flu.

And don't even get me started on how they treated Billy over it. He was literally mid-puke when his Sgt tells him he has no choice but to come in for formation. He could barely walk to the bathroom much less drive to post. But he tried anyway and almost passed out. So, he came home. He was so sick he didn't even care if he got in trouble over not being there. Yeah, it was that bad. And because he missed sick call and formation, he ended up having to spend the afternoon in the ER. Four hours. Yup. FOUR HOURS!!! I love the Army sometimes. But not today.

So now my house smells like a lysol factory. Bleach in every toilet. All the bedding in the hall to be washed... (and see this gets me on another topic. My washing machine has decided it won't do big blankets. I had a comforter in there - all by itself - and the thing wouldn't spin. So I had to drag a completey soaked full size comforter from the wash room into the kids bathroom and throw it in the bathtub. I mean, ugh.) So, tonight we're all exhausted from the long night and serious house de-funking. I have plenty more to do tomorrow. But for now... I'm going to bed. It'll still be there when I wake up.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Just an update

So... what's new in the Army life? A bunch of confusion - as always. So of course, Billy passed his test and this was supposed to remove his 'flag' but of course it's been two weeks and nothing has changed. He's got to request for his leave in April so we can come home AND he's wanting to get surgery on his eyes, but neither of these will be approved if his flag is still out there. So, we're hoping that changes very soon. We've been checking it every other day and it's just frustrating. He's asked a couple people about it and they are "working on it." Yeah, well I know all about that. **having flashbacks from when his orders were wrong and had to be fixed** But basically there's been a super big pile of mess... as always. He got signed up for a driving class to get certified on Humvees. Then they find out he has no record on file for his vision. So, he has to make an appointment to the eye doctor (hence the upcoming eye surgery) and so he has to wait another month to get signed up for that class. SO... they tell him that they want him to do a bus driving class. And that was supposed to start next week. But apparently the guy who signed him up for that thought he had already been through Humvee training and because Humvee training is a prerequisite for bus driving school.... he now has to wait even LONGER! None of this is his fault at all. He's been to the eye doctor several times since he joined the army, but because someone somewhere didn't enter his information in... well, what else is new?

But in my circle... life is just going on. One of my girlfriend's husband's is coming back from deployment soon and another's is about to leave. So, that's an experience getting to watch how those two families cope. We'll be there at some point and well... i don't know. I'm just saying, it will be good to see what all that is going to be like.

Lovely

I had two separate people from two different spectrums of my life send me messages last night asking if we were alive and well. At the same time. One on facebook and one via text message. So, if there was any motivation to update my beloved blog... that was it. I took that as a message to get back in gear. But see, I have a valid reason for leaving my beloved blog alone for a couple weeks. Simply... I have had the most insane past 14 days. Let me explain...

First, merely hours after I got the news that Billy passed his PT test, I also got the phone call that my sweet Nana had passed away. My sweet Nana. It was sad news, but it was also a wonderful blessing. See, my grandmother got sick over 14 years ago. A mere mosquito bite sent her into oblivion. She went from my loving and precious grandmother to a hollow shell of a person. Her memory was wiped clean and although she recovered physically from encephalitis, she never regained her mental state. She had her moments... I mean she wasn't completely gone. She still loved us and sometimes she knew us. But as far as I see it, my grandmother was lost to that disease. So it was basically like mourning the death of a person over a span of fourteen years.

I have some awesome memories of Nana. Like spending the night at her house with my cousins and she would pull out the egg shell foam and every single blanket and pillow in the house to make us a pallet as soft as a cloud for us to sleep on. And then how she'd let us have our midnight snack of Cheerios coated with Half-n-Half cream and milk and sugar. How she'd make us dress-up clothes that we would play in for hours and hours at a time. How she taught me how to make pillows and sew them by hand. How she used to laugh with I called a thimble a "thumb stick." Oh her laugh. Her laugh was beautiful. Never fake or forced. Just always tender and lovely. Just like her. She was tender and lovely.

People used to say I was just like her and I took that as a compliment. Although I know they were referring to her particular way of doing things, not so much her loveliness. She was very particular. She liked things in order and tidy. And she would fret over things - silly things. Yes, I see myself like her sometimes. Little Edna they called me. I just had this special connection with her, I guess. I used to be so fearful of losing her like I did my grandfather - suddenly and unexpectedly. But seeing her lose a little bit of life with each passing year, living in confusion while her body remained healthy but her mind just drifted away, was in my own selfish way a blessing because I had a chance to slowly let go. However, I hate that she had to live so long with a mind she didn't understand for such a long time. Now, I don't know which is worse... leaving suddenly without a chance to hug, kiss and say goodbye to the ones you love, or letting death take control over you and dangle you by a thread over your end. Either way, death is hard and I will miss her. I will miss the grandmother from my youth. The grandmother my children never had the blessing of knowing like I did. And how sad that she never got to know them either. But she's quite at peace now. No more confusion. And I'm sure she's up in heaven holding her husband's hand as they look down on their legacy and with that, I am at peace also.

So, that's my official remark on my grandmother's passing. It sure does help being able to put into words what I've been thinking over the past couple weeks. It's time to move on...


Me (in her dress-up clothes), My brother Matt, and Nana.
This picture just makes me smile. Wasn't she lovely?

Friday, February 10, 2012

AMEN!!!

I knew there was a reason I hung those curtains. I woke up Wednesday morning determined to get those things on the window. They were the last window that needed curtains in the house and I couldn't stand it any longer. And of course we all know the significance of these curtains. So I climb up onto the ladder. Take that drill and bracket and just beat the living crap out of it. It's still wobbly as I'll get out. But it's in the wall. both brackets are attached. Both brackets are attached in a way that would make Martha Stewart cry. But whatever. I am not inviting her over any time soon. And so this morning, I look at my window as the silky brown sheers block the sun light from blinding me and I can't help but feel as though life is just really good. Billy and I had a real "come to Jesus" talk via text messages this morning at 3 am as he was sitting in his truck 14 miles away. After much much much prayer, he said he had to go. And four hours later he sends me a message saying he passed!!

Sometimes even though we aren't sure of how things are going to work out and we soldier on (no pun intended) we can see that our faith might be wobbly like those brackets. But it's faith nonetheless. Those brackets are hanging onto the wall for dear life as the weight of the curtain tries to pull it down and cause it lose its grip. But no. My curtains are staying put. And so are we. our faith is now just that much stronger!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

To hang or not to hang...

Billy's been told his PT test is Friday. I'm just super sick about it. My house is cleaner than it's ever been because I'm so stressed out about it that all I can do is walk around picking up stuff. This test is the big one. The one that will determine his future in the military. So, I'm trying to decide if I should hang the curtains in my bedroom. If I do, then I'm saying I know he'll be fine and pass and we're staying. If I don't, then I'm saying I have no faith in him. I just know I'm staring at those curtains like there is no tomorrow. I did start to screw in the rod bracket thingy and I messed it up really bad and couldn't finish, so the bracket is just hanging there with one screw and a huge hole in the wall. I'm trying not to let that be some sort of sign. My prayer right now is that if God wants us here, he'll give Billy the means to pass this test. If not, he'll show us the way he wants us to go.

Monday, January 30, 2012

So Long, January!!!

This has been the LONGEST month in the history of the world. Or at least it feels that way. See, Billy gets paid in the middle of the month and the end of the month. And since this month had a holiday on the mid-month pay day... he got paid like 4 days early. Which usually isn't a big deal. But since the end of the month is like 20 days later.... that's incredibly hard. Now, I am a planner. And I knew this was coming. I looked ahead and realized that I would have to make every single dime and nickel and penny stretch as far as I could. But daggum! We are scraping the bottom of the pantry this week. As Billy put it, "we're putting Old Mother Hubbard to shame." And that's even after buying three weeks worth of groceries, staying home and not driving anywhere to save gas, and even with the extra cash coming in from babysitting my neighbors kids. So, I'll say this... yes, the military has LOTS of perks. But the pay is crap. It's ridiculous! For anyone to say we're in it for the money... they need to think again. However, the perks are great. So, I won't complain. It's just this month has been a bit tough.

Speaking of January... why is it 73 degrees outside??? My kids are outside in shorts and t-shirts. I've had my windows open the past couple days. It's just gorgeous outside! I look at the weather back home and see it's barely 50. So, this is crazy!!! Again... not complaining. I LOVE it!! I hate it for the folks back in TN and KY. I love it for me! But hate it for them. Yup... LOL!!

Anyway... I've decided that I need a new kitchen table and chairs. I need it more than I need a new couch. And that's saying something. See, the kids I've been watching this month... well, they decided to go all destructor on me last week. On top of the book ripped in half, a beheaded Buzz Lightyear, about seventeen plastic army guys (whom they fed to the dog - with crayons, of course), and a toy cash register... they also busted up my kitchen chair. Sigh...... So now three of the five chairs are now broken. And then the other two are wobbly as crap. So, for my birthday, I either want a new dining set or new chairs. I just can't risk someone coming over and sitting in my busted chair and ending up in the floor. I've already put this bug in Billy and the kids' ears. They all just laugh at me. And then I hear Billy mumble something about getting me an Xbox controller. I swear to you... if that man buys me a video game controller for my 35th birthday, he'll be sleeping in his truck for a week. So Billy, if you're reading this... be warned.

But yeah, we went back to church this weekend. It was, again, a nice quiet service. Met a couple more ladies who invited us to a prayer group for military wives on the main post. I'd heard of the group before. So, we'll see. Emma seemed to enjoy it better. She invited a friend this time, so I'm sure that helped.

Billy had a nice lazy weekend and rested well. So this morning when he texted me after his run, he said he got to lead the group and they were all telling him to slow down. Um... really? One week of hard core training and he's already a different person. AMEN!! Oh and did I mention I've gone to the gym three days this past week? I'm starting the Couch to 5K program. It's a guide that takes you from basically couch potato status to walking to running in a few months. Not that I need to run any marathons any time soon. But it is a good workout and it is a gradual thing, so I can do this!! Oh and we also went on a family bike ride Saturday evening. Now, that was awesome! William on his little big wheel just blasting down the road. Too cute!!! The girls kept getting distracted with their friends and would stop and chat for a while then catch up to us later. I'm not sure we were all five together for more than a couple minutes at a time. But it was a really nice little ride through the neighborhood. Only down side... my butt is all kinds of sore!!!
**Note to self: buy a fat-bottom bike seat... and soon.**

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Oscars, PT, Gifted program, taxes, soccer and other things

Hold on tight... I've got a lot to say and only an hour to type it all out.

First off, I'm extremely disappointed in the Oscar nominations this year. I understand that Harry Potter wasn't this artsy fartsy movie that I normally enjoy... but COME ON!!! This movie makes over a BILLION dollars and has one of the most sentimental death scenes (Snape) in the history of movie making and they don't even get a nod... not a nod! I'm not happy with this, people. Yeah Yeah... it's just a movie. But still. I feel sad and somehow heartbroken to hear they were overlooked. Not fair. Not fair at all. They'll nominate a girl for having a seriously hilarious "pooping in the sink" scene and then not even look twice at Alan Rickman for his 12 years as Professor Snape!!  Very upset with you Academy!!!!! I'm seriously thinking about not even watching this year!

Anyway... moving on...

So, I went to church on Sunday. it was the chapel service run by the chaplains in our neighborhood. So, it was all military AND all families from our neighborhood. It was really nice - done in the school down the road. So it was close and familiar and felt good. Billy didn't attend as he was having stomach issues. But I know he'd like it. I'm going to make him go next time. I just loved how the pastor / chaplain tied in forgiveness with doing a 12 mile ruck march. LOL! It was just neat. Emma wasn't thrilled. The kids church was a little "young" for her I think. Allison enjoyed it though. And William... well he was ready to go back as soon as we got home.

A while back I mentioned that Emma was being tested for the Gifted Program at school. Sadly, they said she wasn't eligible. It was a bit of a blow. I didn't help matters talking it up like "hey I was in gifted and it was awesome!" and then she doesn't get in. So, I had to explain to her that back then they didn't test people like they do today. And that I probably wouldn't have made it in if I had to be tested. You know, taking tests is not my thing. But give me a story to read and write a paper on it... done. Deciding A B C or all of the above... I always freeze. Like taking the compliance tests back when I worked for the bank. I knew that stuff inside and out, but always struggled with the tests. I think I just over think things. And I'm sure that's where Emma froze, too. She just didn't get a high enough score. And all this on the same day that her best friend in her class got moved into another classroom. Blah.

Moving on...

And then of course, I finally make it up to the Child and Youth Services to sign the kids up for soccer. The good news is, William is on a team and starts practice in March. Allison... not so much. She got put on a waiting list because there were too many kids. POO!! But she's number four, so maybe that won't be such a big deal.

I went ahead and filed our taxes this year. I wasn't sure I could do it with all the military stuff, but really it wasn't any harder than doing it last year. Only thing is MTSU screwed me up by billing me for my tuition for the Spring of 2011 in December of 2010 - so I couldn't count that as a education credit. But because my pell grant was applied in January of 2011, I had to report that as income. GGRRR!!!!! Stupid people! Oh well... I guess it could be worse and we'd have to owe money. It was really only a difference of about $300 that I'd have gotten back. But still... that's a years worth of toilet paper, right there.

Moving on!!!

So yeah... I lay out all my doubts and fears to God last week. I seriously laid it all out there for the world to see, if they so chose to read... I had many friends send me very reassuring private emails and I can tell you that my outlook is changed completely!! I just needed that boost again. That jump out of the pit of despair. I don't think I'm 100% back to where I was, but I can already feel a peace surrounding me that I have really missed. I know going to church really helped. I know that pulling out the old bible and following an online prayer group were things that I needed more than I knew. It's been a blessing!!

Speaking of blessings!!! Billy's First Sgt had a fit yesterday when he found out no one was going to the afternoon PT sessions. Of course, Billy didn't know they were having these PT sessions - as did anyone else for that matter. First Sgt said that if anyone misses another one, they were going to get an Article 15. So, um... how is this a blessing? Well, for one... it is MAKING people go to these things, which is what Billy's been needing all along. But since no one else was going, he didn't think he could go either. It's just weird. But anyway... he's going again. Which is a good thing. I can't imagine what would have happened if the First Sgt hadn't of stepped in.  Kinda like how he threw a fit because no one signed up to go play paint ball. But get this... no one even knew they were doing paint ball, much less looking for volunteers. Whatever... moving on...

AND... apparently my drivers license expires on my birthday in a couple weeks. So, I go online to renew it and OOPSIES! they won't do it online. I have to go in. Um.. I can't just drive to TN and renew my license. So, I had to call and after being on hold for 23 minutes, transfered between departments, hung up on, leaving a voice mail, and receiving an email to which I had to reply to with a question and have yet to recieve an answer back.... I still don't know how to get my license renewed. LOL! But... this is just one of those things. And I'm fully convinced that it is the military's fault. Everything in the military is tedius and a pain in the butt, so let's just throw this into the mix as well. After all, I had to go through the military liason due to the fact that we are stationed out of state and blah blah blah... BIG HAPPY GRIN!!! Moving on...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Just felt like I needed to share this

I've heard that when you feel a distance between yourself and God it is because you've pulled away, not because God has left you. It's very easy to become comfortable in your daily life, that you start to forget or possibly take for granted the power God has on your every day tasks. I always "saw" God in everything I did. I would wash the dishes and have everyone clean and ready for bed just in time to catch up on some conversation with Billy or watch a television show - and I would give thanks for just that small thing. The clouds would clear just as I was preparing a road trip down the road and I would give thanks to God for just that small little thing. I would be struggling with something (or Billy would be struggling) and I'd go to the bible and find just the exact words to comfort me and I would give thanks for that small little thing. I've not felt that presence of God in my life lately. I look back and think how much we relied on him for every little detail (like praying over our mailbox while Billy was at basic training) during this "joining the Army" experience. We prayed for news, we prayed for a house, we prayed for friends... all these things have been answered. Maybe not right away, but they were answered when God knew it would be the right time for us. So when I pray for Billy to pass his PT test, I was hurt when God didn't bless us with that. So I guess I felt let down. I've been saying it all along... Why would God put us here just to see us fail? But we weren't failing because Billy wasn't doing his PT test ten seconds faster or his situps just a little better. We were failing because we let God get out of the picture. I've lost sight of how much I depended on God and his word. It's like we got here and I suppose we felt that it was OK to let our guard down since we got where we wanted. So when we got here, I somehow put God on the shelf. I stopped seeing him in everything like I used to. I didn't want God to see my broken self. I didn't want him to see the struggle I was dealing with in finding friends worthy or a church that was good enough. Plus, I mean, heck... we were here. Our prayers had been answered. Why bother praying for the next big thing? Why bother finding a church when it's not like the ones back home? Why bother opening the bible when it looks so pretty on the shelf with the other books? And here we are... back to worrying over being sent back home because of a ten second goof and 8 inches of a situp. Does God want us to stay? Does He want us to go home? What is His will for us? How do I pray for it? I have no idea what is going to happen. I know that Billy is scared to death of not passing this next test. We don't know when it is going to be, but I fear sooner than we know. I just wish I could feel confident in the outcome, no matter what it is. I do know that I will love Billy and support him no matter what happens. I just can't help feel anxious for the unknown.

"It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone." Ephesians 1: 11-12

Thursday, January 12, 2012

One year

One year ago, Billy was in Nashville being sworn in as Future Soldier to the US Army. I can't even begin to tell you how much this year has done for us. I started this blog just a couple days after he began this process. I find it is so rewarding to sit back read all the posts from a year ago and then compare them to what we're going through now. I can't believe it's been an entire year. There are some things that have happened since we've been in that I pretty much expected and some things that I'm disappointed in and then some things that I've been pleased with.

Pretty much expected that we'd have to move away from family. That basic training would suck for Billy and us as well. That he would give it his best effort. That there would be a lot of perks for being a military family.

Disappointed in the fact that Billy's unit isn't what we had hoped. That he's having such a hard time with his PT. (he told me this morning that when he was at AIT and Basic he started to really love to run and did really well. But here he hates it and is doing really bad) That everything we do is a process and a half. Nothing has been easy - from enrolling in school to getting ready for missions. And I know this is going to shock a lot of people and I'm sorry if I sound hypocritical, but I'm disappointed that he may not get a chance to deploy. NOW... having said that... I do not want him to leave AT ALL! Especially while he is in this unit he hates so much and all that. BUT... I would hate for him to have to tell his grandkids that he was in the Army during the war and all he ever did was sit stateside and stare at the motorpool walls all day. We're also disappointed in how hard it is going to be for him to earn rank. He's only an E3 and I just don't see him getting promoted any time soon like we'd hoped. If he deployed, he could probably move up a little faster.

Pleased with the fact that we live in an awesome place. I really think we chose well when we picked this neighborhood. I've been to some of the newer housing on the main post and they really kinda suck. So, I'm very happy with where we are. Not only the structure and the location, but also the people. I really like where we live. My kids are starting to feel at home and there is that moment when you realize you're going to miss the friends you've made here just as much as you miss the friends you made back at home. I don't want to leave yet. I want to go home and visit, but I'm not ready for this adventure to be over.

But all in all, this has been a great year. One full of pain, strength, fear, relief, loneliness, communication, encouragement, rewards, farewells, reunions, change, settling in, old friends, new friends, ups and downs. And in all of this... there are no regrets. Never a regret.

Monday, January 9, 2012

The Peeper

Apparently, we've had a fellow out here looking into people's windows and then hurting children. Now, I would not believe such nonsense except the MP's have been cracking down severely in the neighborhood. The other day Emma was at the park (which is actually a set of swings and a little climbing thing down at the end of the street and just happens to be the backyard of one of my friends) and an MP stopped her and asked her where her mother was and where she lived and then told her to go home. Now, I was under the impression that children over the age of 10 were allowed to play without direct supervision. I still don't think I'm wrong, but I guess they are just making sure no one gets in the line of this Peeper guy. There have just been all kinds of rumors and kids are going around saying the "Child Killer" is out there! And it's nuts. Like I said, I would not have even given this a second thought except now it's hitting home when the MP's are guarding all the parks and playgrounds and constantly roaming up and down the streets (some on foot and some in vehicles). It's just a bit unnerving. I really don't know what to think. Glitter Mama (my friend) went down there and talked to these MP's and I guess they've been trying to catch this guy for weeks. So, here's my question. We live on a military post. You have to go through a security checkpoint with 100% ID check. There are hundreds upon hundreds of trained combative soldiers here - I'm sure there are several in the Special Forces - many many of them have been in combat and overseas tracking Iraqi's and who knows what else... and you mean to tell me they can not catch a black male between the ages of 19 and 25 who is probably a resident here and is threatening our children??!!?? Blech! People are just crazy.

In other news, today Billy was preparing for PT by stretching and what not and he got pulled out to go to the range for target practice. Then he finds out that while he was gone, they ended up doing the "ability run" which is the good kind of running that he needs (and not the run 4 miles at the fastest speed possible which is what they've been doing all this time). It's like, REALLY? How are they going to pull him out of PT when he needs it more than most and then make him wait around for four hours before taking them to the range. Why could he not have done the run AND go to the range. I'm so aggravated I could just scream sometimes. I sincerely hope they do this run again. Oh and no afternoon PT either. GGRRR!!!!!

But then there are my kids... they continue to make life a little brighter. William has now learned to feed the dog. I let him do this and he feels like a real big kid. Plus, Shadow sees him do this and I hope that will create a trust between the two of them. I know that sounds odd, but I have heard and truly believe that the person who feeds the animals is the one the animal will love most. So... we'll see. Also, Emma has started Girl Scouts. So if you want to buy some cookies... well, that wouldn't make sense. It'd cost a fortune to mail them. But anyway. Or you can order them, and we'll put them in the freezer until we see you next... just a thought... Oh and Emma also got invited to be in the Drama Club at school. Very exciting stuff there!! And then Allison has been studying whales at school. She came home and literally talked about it for an hour. I was going about doing my daily stuff (cooking, laundry, dishes, going to the bathroom) and she followed me everywhere I went talking about all the neat stuff about whales. Too cute!

Anyway, hoping for more "ability runs" like they did today and more chances for Billy to get at making his goals. I really do not want to make myself have to go down to the commander and make an A$$ of myself. Of course, we all know I would never. But still... this is my life too! And no peeper or commander is going to bring me down!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

One too few

I hate to say it but Billy didn't pass his test this morning. He missed his sit ups by one. ONE! ONE STINKING SIT UP! And it was just a struggle!! He said he got to the end and knew he only had one more. He got about half way up and fell back down. He tried again... got half way up and they were all yelling at him to "wiggle up" so that he could get up. He said he was kicking his legs and the spotter holding his feet kept coming off the ground trying to hold Billy down. He falls back down and does this about three times until the time ran out. So, really he was a half a sit up away. He was so heartbroken that by the time he did his run, he just felt like he couldn't do anything. He was a minute off on the run. So, this hasn't been a great day for us. I know he's disappointed as am I. But the First Sgt is going to give him one last chance.... we just don't know when. In fact, the First Sgt asks him if he passed. Billy said no. First Sgt asks by how much. Billy says One sit up. First Sgt said, "You want to get kicked out, don't you?" Poor Billy. Of course doesn't want to get kicked out. So, here we are again... on the waiting train. I wonder how many counseling statements he'll have to sign now. Oh well... I'm going to ride his butt until he gets where he needs to be. Even if it means holding his feet while I scream in his ear the whole time. I mean sit ups here... come on.

Speaking of one too few... Allison wants to wear a bra now. She's a flat as hardwood floor. But I let her have one of Emma's old ones. She's so proud of herself, she can't hardly stand it. She asked me tonight before bed if she needs to wear it to bed. I said she could if she wanted to, but eventually she won't want to. Just super cute. Oh and please do not say anything to her about me telling the world about this. She'd die. Absolutely die!!

But continue to keep us in your prayers. I do not want Billy to get kicked out any more than he does.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Sigh

So, Billy's PT test isn't Friday. It's tomorrow. I think he'd be just fine except he got a super horrible migraine this afternoon. So what was supposed to be a night of chugging water and pasta to boost his energy up for his run in the morning... has now turned into me trying to keep the house quiet and dark and I seriously doubt he'll even eat anything tonight. This is not a good thing. He's not had a migraine in weeks and now I'm starting to agree with his mother that this is probably stress related. But at the same time, I'm really kind of mad at him because he just refuses to take anything when he starts getting these headaches. He had three hours off this morning and rather than go to the store to get some medicine when he felt the headache coming on, he sat in his truck in the freezing cold. I swear. I do not understand that man sometimes. He could have even come home during that time... but nope. He'd rather eat his bologna sandwich alone in his truck and let his migraine grow into some horrible mess. I don't know what to do.

And not only that, but I have had a bit of a stressful couple of days watching my neighbor's kids. Three four year olds... (well almost) are a lot of handle. It's just that when they are around, William has to act like the world's biggest terd. It's hard when a bunch of kids come in and just take over his toys. I get that. But then when the little kids come over and bring toys and then refuse to share... it just sets everyone off. I'm probably going to be OK. But I am trying to get used to their behavior while trying to not hang my son out to dry. It doesn't help when Williams' been sleeping like the weirdest hours. He's not getting enough rest and it's about to wear on all of us. Plus, my attitude in the afternoons when the girls get home isn't the best and that's not fair to them. But I'm not going to quit. I just need to figure out how to balance it. I'll probably get it all figured out about the time they leave.

So I've got that on my shoulders and Billy's test tomorrow. My stomach is turning and I'm just about to scratch my eyeballs out.

I made myself a promise that I wasn't going to make this blog a vent fest. But today... I really just needed to vent.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Getting caught up

I've been blogging in my head for days now. I keep thinking of things to say but just never have a chance to sit down and actually type it all out. So, I sat down this morning and made myself do it. I went back and post-dated a couple of them so that I didn't have so much to say on one post. Feel free to scroll down and read... enjoy!

Got myself a job

My neighbor directly across from me (the one who invited us to her church this Sunday) has asked me to babysit her kids for a couple weeks until she quits her job. Her husband is training for Special Forces and just got orders to go back to Fort Campbell in the beginning of February. So, rather than put the kids in daycare and spending a lot of money, I'm going to keep her kids and help her save a little money. We agreed on a little amount that will hopefully make it worth while. It isn't like I've got a full time career job, but it will be something anyway. And we're only talking about maybe three days a week until February. I was glad to help her. I just hope the kids don't drive me crazy. It's a little boy and a little girl (ages 3 and 4). So, I hope they don't think it's funny to color my walls with magic marker or feed the dog crayons. But my friend the lady on the corner is going to be right across the street and told me to bring them over every once in a while to let them play with her kids as well. Kids do better in groups. Moms do better in groups too, I think.

So yeah, I start tomorrow. Say a little prayer that all goes well.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Glitterfest

The ladies that I have come to really care about here all live on my street. It's not a very long street but it is kinda neat that we all pretty much found each other and can manage to hang out without a lot of drama and nonsense. I like to think of us in pairs. There's me and the lady on the corner - we are down on the same end. Then there's glitter mama and the gal whose husband is deployed - they live on the other end across from each other. Then there is the nurse lady and the gal whose husband is gone for training - they live in the middle and right next door to each other. So, we all decided to have a New Years party - or Glitter Fest. Everyone had to dress up in something sparkly and then cover themselves in glitter. It was awesome! Even the husbands got attacked with the glitter spray at certain points through the night. Poor Billy. I made the glitter mama spray him. There was no hope for him. She got him good. It was just a fun evening! Most new years over the past several years, we've just kinda woke up around midnight and kissed each other and the kids and then went back to sleep. This year we were surrounded by so many good friends and all their kids. It was awesome!! At midnight, we just walked around hugging and kissing as many people as we could find. There were so many people there, it was a while before we ran out of friends to hug. Makes you kinda feel good.