Jacked - it's just all jacked up

The absolute unthinkable happened Saturday evening. We lost William. Like really lost him. We eventually found him, but it was about ten minutes of complete terror. Basically, we were wrapping up at a birthday party at lady on the corner's house. So, I decided to stay behind and clean up the yard to help out a bit and sent Emma back across the street with William. She made it into the house and assumed he had followed her. No... he got distracted by his bike and from what we can gather, decided to stay outside and play. He told us that a little kid on his bike told him to "go away from his house" and so he followed the kid to the park down at the end of the street (behind our friends' house). But of course, I don't know any of this. I go home to make sure he got out of his wet clothes (from playing in the water) and he wasn't in his room. So we all start looking. Nowhere. He's absolutlely nowhere. We go back to lady on the corner's house and he's not there either. Well that's when the panic sets in. And we end up hitting the streets calling out his name. Looking behind people's houses, in the woods, back in the house, back outside. All the mommas were searching in full force. And then I see Allison running towards me from the end of the street and I see Billy running towards where she was coming from. She was shouting out "MOMMMMAAA!!" For a brief second, my heart stopped. I knew he'd been found but not really sure why she was screaming my name like that. So yeah... Billy finds him and brings him back home. We all pile up in the bed and I hold my baby boy for a while still trying to calm down. I think the craziest thing is that just last week, we had talked about "strangers" and how to figure out who a stranger is. We did this at Walmart. And he kinda understood. But then you never think about another kid being dangerous. So when some kid tells him to take off down the road on his bike, well, good grief. That isn't good. Now we have the stranger talk often. A couple times a day. ugh. Billy's schedule is really kinda jacked up. It changes every day. We have no idea what is going on. He was told he would be working 30 days straight at 12 hour shifts. Then be off for 30 days. Next he was told he would work 6 days on and one day off for a month during days and then six on one off for nights for 30 days. Then he was told he would work 30 days straight at this new job during days, then go to the company and work 9-5 for a month, then go back to this new job and work 30 nights. Oh and then he was told that their shift would end at 6pm every night. And that's when they will do PT. So he wakes up at 4 am, gets to work by 5. Works from 6 am to 6 pm. Then goes and does an hour of PT which will get him home around 7:30 or 8. That gives him enough time to eat a bite, take a shower and go to bed. Blah. Of course, this will change in about 15 minutes, like every thing else. So I'm not getting excited over anything. It just messes with my head and really messes with Billy's. Moving on... Allison had her Team Party last night. It was fine. I got a little upset that she didn't get a trophy. Only a little medal and a "daddy doll." Daddy dolls are little stuffed soldiers dressed in camo and you put a picture of your soldier in the face of it for when daddies are gone. (I'm pretty sure those can be found free online - So I'm kinda wondering where my $20 went since we didn't get a trophy) It was super hot in the room and a certain group of people would not shut up! So that made me angry. But thus ends her track season. I am certain next year we will do soccer or cheer or something else. This was crap.

Who knows....

Yeah Billy didn't have a great day yesterday. He went to his class and did fine... passed his tests and everything. But as he was leaving, he was told to go back to the company to sign some papers. While he was there, he made the mistake of asking his First Sgt what all is going on with this new mission. First Sgt basically started yelling at him about "what do you mean, you don't know what's going on?" "Hasn't your squad leader or your platoon sgt told you anything?" and just kinda went on and on. Then he told Billy he had to report on Saturday at 6am for a twelve hour shift and to come back on Monday for another 12 hour shift. Blah!!! And so it begins... looks like Billy's not going to the headquarters. Looks like all the people in the headquarters are going to be the people who are no longer able to do this special mission job and people who are leaving the company. And since Billy isn't leaving and is perfectly able... well crap. Rumor right now is that they are going to be doing 12 hour days for three months and then twelve hour nights for the next three months. Then his commander was telling them that they can't take leave, go to school, take weekend passes, have any days off, and they won't get any weekends off (including four day holidays - there goes my anniversary weekend). But like I think I said yesterday... this could mean they are not a "the D word" - able company now with this mission. So which is better... having him come home every night - exhausted, not being able to go anywhere fun together, no being able to take any vacations. I just don't even know how to work this out in my mind. And maybe we are so off base and it won't be like this at all. Maybe this is all just so unknown that we won't know for a while if it's going to suck or not. Another thing, Billy found out that a friend of his from Basic died in a motorcycle crash yesterday. He was only 25 years old. How super sad!! He was training to be an explosives guy. Which is super hard and extremely dangerous, but then he ends up dying from a crash while driving around town. It just goes to show that you never know. And then more bad news... well I guess more bitter sweet than bad. Lady on the Corner's husband go orders to go to Drill Sgt school in January. Which means, once he is done with that they'll get orders to move to a training post - and no Fort Bragg isn't a training post. Sad!!!! Really really sad!! So in less than a year from now... she'll be packing up her family and moving on. SAD!!!!!! Right now, I'm waiting on the maintenance guy to come get the daggum bird out of my laundry room. See, I had called and told them that I saw a bird making a nest in my dryer vent. I saw the thing fly up into the vent on the outside of the house. So, the maintenance guy put a little mesh covering over the hole.... but didn't take the friggin bird out!!!! So he had no where to go but back into my house!I am very aggravated about this right now. But at least I was angry enough that I had to let off some steam and vaccumed my entire house up and down and even in between (the stairs).

Two Months Later

So what's it like falling off the face of the Earth, you might ask??? Well, it is lonely and sad and crazy fun at the same time. There's no reason why I felt I needed to stop blogging for a while. I just didn't blog. And what is weird, is I still think in blog mode. Like, "oh I need to tell the folks about this." I suppose I need to catch everyone up... Me? Well, I've been having these anxiety filled moments of paranoia and confusion. I debated whether I should share this little bit of information with the world. And then I realized that this is a very common thing with military wives. I've been to the doctor and we are working towards a solution. I've been on anti-depressants for a few years - since after Allison was born. So they are tweeking that and trying to help me get some sleep and have more energy at the same time. Yeah, sleep has been a problem and that just makes me more anxious and then I start freaking out in the middle of the night... and well... I don't know. It's nothing huge. Just a little bit of craziness. The medicine they put me on is supposed to help me sleep. But it also turned me into an absolute zombie. I would sleep so hard that the next morning, I couldn't function until at least 10 or 11. It was awful. So I started only taking half the dose and things seem to be better. This may be a reason I've lost the gumption to write everyday and keep everyone informed on the Blackburns. So, I hope I can get this train rolling again. I have so much to tell you all!! So much!!! Emma? Well she's great. We had a little trouble there about two months ago where she was causing all kinds of petty drama at school and her teacher was losing patience. So, after a couple conferences and a real "Come to Jesus" meeting, we think we've got her to calm down a bit. I feel as though her behavior was her way of telling me that she wasn't getting enough attention (positive attention) and so she was going to make me pay attention to her. Things have been so much better since. I still have to bring her down here and there, but that could just be her tween emotions getting the best of her. And speaking of teachers... we found out this week that her teacher is out on sick leave "until further notice." So they had to bring in another subsitute. This will be her 7th teacher in fifth grade. GRR! No wonder she's acting like a looney toon. She gets used to a teacher and then they leave and she has to learn all over again and adjustment like that is difficult. Now I sound like a total butthead when I say all this because it isn't the teacher's fault she got sick. And I wish her the best because she was a super nice lady. All I'm saying is this has been year to remember. Only 20 more school days left. Whoo Hoo!! I'll be so happy to just sleep in and go hang out at the pool all day. Allison? Oh my goodness. Well, she's about to turn 9. And I'm pretty sure the body snatchers have come for her. Where this was the child who never gave me any greef over anything... she's starting to throw around this little tude and it is so not cool. BUT... her grades this year have been awesome. She always gets to best reports from her teacher. She's been running track this spring. And well, it's been a bit uneventful. Literally. They go to practice twice a week. And they've had one true meet. They had a "just for fun" meet with just their team running against each other and she did really well. But at the true meet... well, the lack of experience was apparent with her and most of the kids on her team. The teams we were up against were well trained and had their junk together. I think she ended up placing 17th out of 24 runners in her event. At least it wasn't last, right? But I think she's decided to do soccer next time. The track and field just wasn't all that involved. And I think she is just bored with it. William? OOOHHH William! This child has kept us super busy over the past few months. He's doing soccer as well. And he's been not too excited about doing "the soccer." I'd love to say that he's been the star player and tries super hard and gets into the game more than the other kids. But no... he likes to pick the grass or dig in the dirt. During the game. OR he likes to just walk around and make monster noises at kids - and they eventually get sick of it and push him away and then he gets all upset and total meltdowns gallore! I'm just glad my good friend "lady on the corner" is his coach and has patience with him. Now, she might very well go home and fuss about it, but I don't think so. Now... the other moms... well who knows about them. It's whatever. I'm never there for his practices anyway because his overlap Allison's and I unfortunately can't be in two places at once. So, between me, Billy, and "lady on the corner" we usually get everyone to practice on time. And... the other day I went and signed William up for pre-school. I didn't really cry, but my stomach was in knots the whole time. He's going to hopefully go to the morning sessions next fall. It almost seems unreal. What am I going to do with my mornings? Maybe go to the gym. LOL!! Oh and I guess Williams' biggest news is his little accident he had on Billy's birthday. The child was leaning over the recliner trying to look out the window and yell at his friends who were playing across the street. I'm on my way down the stairs and I hear what sounded like a baseball bat smacking a ball. The sound was actually William's head slamming against a wooden baby doll crib (one my dad made for my girls years ago) and he bascially split his head open. Billy just happened to be home because they gave him the day for his birthday. So we both run to him and as Billy picks him up, William is holding his forehead with his hands and blood is just gushing... running down his hands and between his fingers. I've never seen so much blood. Billy held a towel to it while I ran around gathering up cell phones, car keys, shoes and more towels. It was awful. We get to the ER and sure enough... he had 5 stitches put in there. He was a trooper though. Of course he cried and I know it hurt, but he was so proud of his ginormous booboo. He still talks about it. He's got a pretty hot pink scar now - right in the center of his forehead. Billy? Well there is just so much to share here... I may just have to list it all. * A while back someone in the Batallion Headquarters got whiff of their unit "the D word" to Africa. What? Really? eah, that is weird and not so good. However, that was never heard of again... so it could have just been talk. However, one of neighbor friends whose husband just got back from Afghan was told they are on some sort of stand by to go to Africa too. ugh. I hate that for her so very much. * Billy was told by his Commander that he was going to start working in the Headquarters office in the gas chamber. I find this very hilarious. That I get to tell people my husband runs the gas chamber. Of course, this is just the room that they test the gas masks. It isn't like what you think in terms of torture or mass killings. It's just to test equipment. However, this was like 3 weeks ago. And they told him that the First Sgt had to give the order to his platoon sgt in order for the move to happen. Billy's been in classes for three weeks now and no one has told him anything. So, who knows. * And see now, he's taking these other classes for some mission that his unit has been asked to do. Without giving too much away on a public website... he's going to be doing some senstivie things involving the traveling of other soldiers. So, they have him taking these classes that are only supposed to be for Sgts (E7's and above). He's only a PFC (E3). They said they would only make exceptions for Specialists (E4) who are up for promotion to be Sgt. So, for him to take this class is crazy. He was sitting in a classroom next to Captains and Lieutenants. Nuts, right? But this all goes back to this mission they are doing. Basically they are taking the place of the civillians who do this job there on post. This job is a 24/7, no holidays or weekends off, kinda bullcrap job. They are working on a schedule for the soldiers doing this job and it will be 12 hours on and 12 hours off. 6am to 6pm. 6pm to 6am. So I'm getting very nervous that he's not going to get this gas chamber job, and end up working the most crazy hours ever for who knows how long. One good thing about it, is Billy thinks because of the nature of this mission, it means they won't be able to "the D word." So, we'll see. He's also heard that because he is taking this class, he might get put in the office of this new mission thing. See, not everyone is taking this class. Only a very few were picked for the class. I honestly do not know what to think. * Oh and Billy bought me new living room furniture. YAY! We haven't had new furniture since 1998. I'm sooooo in love with it. It's a chocolate brown pleather material. (not real leather) And we have a couch, loveseat and recliner. And a new entertainment center. What about my old couch, you ask?? Well, I just moved it to the other living room. For some reason, I just can not let that thing go. But I am having a yardsale Saturday, so maybe I can get rid of it. We'll see. I know there is so much more I need to share. I can't really think of any of it right now. I don't know when I'll blog again. Hopefully not two months from now.