So I found out some super gross (and completely unverified) information today. Apparently, this nice beautiful neighborhood sits upon some land that once occupied a nice grody landfill. Yup! We live on top of nasty. So according to this rumor, Fort Bragg bought the land from Oscar and his crew, cleared it out and built some fancy military houses on it. Well they got rid of the trash, but left the soil alone. So, we have about a gazillion flies. And I'm not talking about your normal everyday house fly. I'm talking about a seriously advanced and super intelligent species of pest. These things can completely disappear under attack. I'm not kidding. I will walk around with a fly swatter and zone in on one, but the minute I raise my weapon, the freak evaporates. Gone. Poof. Not only that, but if you actually do manage to hit one down, the thing knows how to play dead. It falls to the ground and in the time it takes me to go get the broom and return, it is gone. So, either he comes back to life and flies away, his cloak of invisibility kicks in, or his other comrades come to take him away in some sort of "no fly left behind" kind of mutant fly core value. I don't know. But these flies drive me bonkers!! Which brings me to my next horribly gross story. Maggots. Where there are flies, there are maggots. So the trash can outside... Well I'm not going to gross anyone out any worse than I have already... But let's just say that I spent a good portion of my morning bleaching out the driveway and the garbage can. NASTY!!!! And during my struggle with the water hose, I stepped into an ant hill and the little buttheads attacked my toe!!! I think they are allies to the mutant flies because now my toe is hot pink and really stinkin hurts!!!!
So, we'll be getting a visit from the bug man very soon. Oh I promise you that!
Despite the bugs and fire ants... things are going well this weekend. I got out some festive decorations, but since we have about twice as much house - I realize that my lack of sufficient Fall Decor is going to be an issue to my mental state. I've got to find a Big Lots. And soon!
I want this shirt!!!
1 comment:
My dad once told me that flies take off like helicopters - straight up. So if you want to smack one, you have to get right above it and come crashing down very quickly! Even armed with this knowledge, I still have a heckuva time trying to get one, but maybe it'll give you some luck :-)
Post a Comment