Remembrance day

I was sitting at the bank getting my vaults ready for the day. A customer came through the drive thru window and told us a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I didn't have a clue what the WTC was or even where it was. So, I was a little confused why this was such a drama. Man, I was so clueless back then. Anyway, we took turns watching the news on the break room television all day. I remember I could not get home fast enough that afternoon. I was working part time back then because Emma was only a few months old. And we had just moved into our brand new house and still didn't have TV. So I listened to the radio all night and when Billy got home from his class that night, we both just sat there amazed at how crazy the world was. We didn't say much. Just sat and held our daughter.
Looking back, I feel like a lifetime has transpired since that day ten years ago. I remember Billy telling me that Jonathan was getting deployed into the war. We both just got so scared for him. But now we realize our fears were only a result of our own doubts. What if Billy had listened to his friends and joined up instead of listening to his uncle and taking a construction job? Where would he be? Would he be over there with Jonathan and his other friends? Who knows. I guess at the time, he thought he should go to school and get his electrical license and do the whole family thing. My own selfishness was glad he hadn't taken the Army thing any further than just a dream. I was scared. Terrified. I was so worried about Jonathan being in the war zone, I couldn't even watch the news anymore.
And so life went on. We had more babies. Played house for a few years. But every time Jonathan would come home, I could tell Billy was completely absorbed in what Jonathan was doing. I seriously think he wished he could have been with him on all those tours in Iraq. Billy would talk about everything Jonathan told him for weeks. But he never actually said those words... those words that I think somewhere in the back of my mind I would one day hear.
Then one day back in 2009 our little world kinda crashed. It's a long and personal story, but this was a moment that changed everything. When he got laid off of work for the fourth time in six years, he started talking about the Army again. He was [---] this close to signing up when he got offered a job he couldn't refuse. But even that job wasn't meant to last. So ten months later, we're back at square one. Billy decides enough is enough. He was going to do what he had been wanting to do for so many years. His words to me were, "Maybe there is a reason everything I've done has failed. Maybe I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing." At this point, I knew he wasn't happy and hadn't been for a long time. So if enlisting would make him happy again, I knew I had to stand behind him. And so I did. And here we are. Gone full circle. Better late than never. Ten years later, we are still at war. We are still over there fighting. Billy will be deployed. My fears are not as potent as before, as I have matured over the years and understand now that I know for sure God is on our side no matter what happens.
It's really strange how that one day in September 2001 changed everything in our world. If that had never happened, would the job market have been so horrible? Would construction have made such a turn for the worse? Would Billy have eventually made a successful electrician? Would he be somewhere fighting for his life rather than over here fighting to keep some job? Who knows? It's almost like what he said is true. Up until now, everything he had worked at had failed. And now he's done nothing but succeed. So it makes you wonder if maybe he shouldn't have joined up years ago. I guess we'll never know. But I mean, everything has a way of working out. Life is meant to be lived. Not feared. So let's go live!!!