Turtle Hurtle

Drum Roll Please.........

Turtle Progress Day ??? I LOST 6 POUNDS!!!!!! It's a small hurtle for this turtle, but I cleared it!!

All the Fluffy Ducks that I Don't Give

I think I have finally reached the age where I can honestly say I just do not give a Fluffy Duck about people and their FLUFFY DUCKIN drama. I sometimes abbreviate Fluffy Duck, but I figured for the family atmosphere... I'll refrain. But if it tells you just how UP TO HERE I've had it...

So... as you know I'm a band mom with lots of band mom drama... Ever see Dance Moms? That horrible show where that horrible woman screams at kids while their mommas sit in the observation room and get all catty with each other. Well being a band mom is not like that... it's more like passive aggressive mommas emailing each other in an attempt to belittle each other until tempers flare and everyone is pissed off. Because you know sooooo many people can portray true emotion through written words and there is never ever any room for misinterpretation.

In my mind, joining the band boosters would be like joining a great group of parents who love their kids and become good friends.... well, I guess I have the disadvantage because I am friends with Sir, the director. This must be the equivalent of having "pariah" tattooed on my forehead. "Don't be friends with her, she is in with the boss and might report you or say bad things about you or do something worthwhile that makes things really great, but we will never give her credit for it because she isn't one of us."

There is one particular mom... we'll call her Scabby. Trust me... It fits. She is constantly questioning every Fluffy Duckin thing I do. Everything. If something is wrong, it is because I was given wrong information. Have I ever made a mistake... absolutely. I own the mistake. But I swear to the almighty, she is trying to FIND that mistake and can't just quietly address it... she has to passive aggressively COPY every other board member to point out said mistake. Sometimes I feel like I am purposefully given wrong information so that it looks like I failed. (paranoia much?)  I. Am. Over. This. Fluffy Duck Her!!!!!!! Scabby needs to back off, or I will lose my mind.

I'm having a pity party, I know. But it is lonely being the new kid on the block with the toughest job on the board. It makes me sad that I can't just be a band mom and love the kids and to heck with the rest.

Ok, so I lied. Obviously I do care about the drama because it makes my life so much harder than it needs to be. I'm just ready to move on.


Turtle Progress: My diet is getting easier... Not so much eating differently as much as eating less. I figure I'll never be able to convert my family to eating like California yuppies, so why stress myself out. Just eat half the normal portions and be OK with that. Oh and I did a workout routine called "The Dirty Thirty"  sounds as bad as it is.... my arms....... can't lift them.

Yoga Bear

Ever see a big ball of marshmallow bend in a bunch of oddly satisfying contortionistic maneuvers? Well you should have been at my house tonight. 

Yoga. 

I have always been rather flexible. I can bend and stretch with ease. However, when you have too much junk in the trunk, on the hood, hanging out of the windows, and pushing the tires to the bursting point... Well it's not so easy to just bend over and touch your toes. I could do it fine if I didn't have three king size pillows worth of fat in the way. So new goal... Keep doing yoga until I can do the stretches and poses without difficulty. But that will only work if I lose the fat. It's a vicious cycle. 

Tonight William told me I wasn't very good at trying to be skinny. And then realizing what he said asks, "that wasn't offensive, was it?" That child. 

Baby turtle steps. I'll get there. 

No progress

Turtle progress is non existent this weekend. Not a pound lost. Nothing but eating and laying around. 

The last words...

It snowed. A lot. And not just here, but like everywhere. The country got blanketed in about a foot of snow this weekend. It's really beautiful. And it's a good excuse to sit here in my pajamas all day.

But before that nasty snow hit, we all went and traded in our phones for an upgrade. I wasn't really thinking that I would lose every single one of my text messages. Not that it really matters, but I'm a hoarder when it comes to my conversations to people. Especially people that I know I'll never talk to again... So, I made a screen shot of the last conversation I ever had with my friend Dawn. Saved it on the phone, but when they transferred everything from one phone to the other, that screen shot was gone.

Ever started sobbing uncontrollably in front of a complete stranger? Sobbing so hard you can't even explain why you're crying because your throat completely closes... it was horrible. That poor kid at the store... He helped me get my text messages off the old phone and helped me email that last conversation so I could keep it. I never did explain why I needed it so bad or even what it was. He knew. There was no way he couldn't know the way I was carrying on.  It's been a really long time since we lost Dawn. And I've not really had a serious cry about losing her in a long time. Or maybe my hormones went into overdrive, but I know I freaked that kid out at the cell phone store...not to mention the other patrons there. And I know I freaked my husband out too.

But really, that conversation... the last words we said to each other... they are so full of meaning.

Boost me Up

So, I mentioned that Emma was in high school now. It freaked me out for about 5 seconds, but she's handled it like a champ. Almost straight A's... something like a 3.79 GPA or something. The kid amazes me. Joined the marching band... Beta Club... and is in all honor's classes. She told me her career path was to become a Congresswoman. Lord, help us all. She'd be amazing at that. If anyone can get her way by simple persuasion, it's her. I always thought she be a great lawyer.

Anyway, so marching band... well, that's my forte. Billy and I met in college marching band. Yep, we're that couple. But whatever. So, around March of last year, I get a text from Emma's soon to be marching band director - a guy we knew from our college days of marching band. We'll call him Sir. So Sir sends me a text, "Hey Boo, would you be interested in being booster treasurer next year when Emma gets in band?" (my nickname to most of my close college friends is BBOO, he wasn't calling me Boo like 'hook-up girlfriend') Anyway.... my reply was "HECK YEAH!!" I had been waiting for this band mom title, and here was a chance to be on the board and everything.

I was elated.

I was stupid.

This volunteer job sucks my butt! It is the most time consuming and ridonkulous thing I've ever done. I mean, honestly, you have to have an accounting degree to do this kind of crap. But I will say in my defense, there aren't many people who could do this job. And since I work with numbers literally all day long every single day, I can kinda sorta get it. It just never ends. Ever.

Anyway, Sir and I are going to have a long discussion about it. Talking with the past treasurer, I find out the the job functions I've been doing - she never had to do. So, I've taken about triple the workload from what past treasurers have done and that pisses me off. I don't even enjoy it anymore. But some of the band kids started calling me Momma Boo, which I think is awesome, and now I want my grand-kids to call me that. Honestly, the kids make the whole tedious process worth it. Amazing wonderful kids, truly.

 And here's the biggest plus and I will gladly shut up about everything because in  72 days I get to chaperon about 50 high school kids to Universal Studios Florida... or as I like to think of it.... Harry Potter World!!!! TOTALLY EXCITED!!!! I mean, like I'm beyond words excited!!!!!

Harder to Fall

Turtle Journal - day 3

Losing weight is not near as fun as gaining it. In fact, I down right suck at it. The only times I successfully dropped some serious pounds was when I was either medicated to do so... or when Billy was gone to basic training. I have no medication, but Billy is traveling a bit, So, there's that. It's still hard though.

I have these workout videos. They suck. But William just loves them. He asks me every night if I'm ready for my workout because he wants to get in there and do it with me. It's actually very cute. So, last night when I couldn't move due the day long ridding the house of flea tasks, and he asks me why I didn't want to work out, I asked him why he did. He says, "because it won't be so hard when I fall." Um... what? What do you mean, son? "Well, if you're bigger, it hurts worse when you fall." I was so sleepy that it didn't register what he was saying. I thought maybe he was just being cute.

But now that I'm awake at 4 am and can digest this.... I'm wondering if he's having difficulty with other kids. Is some asshole knocking him down? He did get a nice punch in the stomach on the bus around week 4 of school. This momma LOST HER CRAP. Bus driver, principal, and whoever else would listen assured me it wouldn't happen again, but as far as I know the kid is still riding my son's bus. So much for zero tolerance, right?

When all of this went down, Billy and I had that discussion about how we wondered if William was just going to be that kid who got picked on. Billy suggested he teach him some combatives... you know, one punch that will kill a person. I aggressively disagreed with this notion and it was never brought up again. But now I'm wondering if we should put him back in Tae Kwon Do. He really liked it, but the after school program he was in was overpriced and they never learned anything. The free program at Fort Campbell was better. ugh.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with a killer headache... I've got more to share, but it will have to wait for another day.

Thanks for reading... if anyone is actually reading.

498 days

We've officially been out of the military for 498 days. Quick run down...

I graduated with a Master's degree in Business Administration in June 2014.

I had been on a job hunt for a while, had an interview with the lovely people at Ford Credit, got hired.

Two weeks later, had a very successful breast reduction. If you're wondering... yes it really friggin hurt.

A month after that, we moved back to my favorite town on Earth, Murfreesboro, TN - without Billy. He came about a month later once the Army was officially done with him.

Billy got a really good job working for a really wonderful company. Then he quit to take an even better job at an even better company.

In July of 2015, we bought a house in a beautiful neighborhood using our handy dandy VA loan... it takes a really long time to get a VA loan - just saying. I love my house. It's exactly what we need and everyone seems happy now that we aren't moving... ever ever ever again. I'm going to be buried in this house.

As I said earlier, I work at Ford Credit doing a really weird job. The best way I can explain it is I am a financial acrobat. I juggle money, do a lot of weird flips and twists to put it where it goes, and pray I land on my feet at the end of the day. (in other words, I do research on the crap that screws up and can't post and figure out how how to post it.) Anyway, I like the job. It's not necessarily a MBA worthy position, but for now it's paying the bills. It's almost an hour commute one way each day... but it gives me time to listen to my audio books - I am addicted to audio books (listened to the entire Harry Potter series twice in one year... )

The kids are doing great. William is addicted to video games and has no friends. Allison has been captured by the body snatchers and hates everything and everyone. Emma is going to start driving with a permit soon... she's in friggin HIGH SCHOOL! ugh. Yeah, the kids are doing great! No, really they are good.

Oh and we have fleas.

I've decided to start logging again because I've gained a LOT of weight in the past several months. Sitting on my arse all day staring at a computer screen... then sitting in a car to get home.... then sitting on the couch b/c I'm so tired from being gone for 11 hours a day... I got fat. Really fat.

So.... true to it's name... it's time to deem my progress in baby steps... it's a really a struggle to get skinny again when I'm this fat. Off like a heard of turtles, indeed.

Today's turtle progress - did 30 minutes of Lower Body fix... weighed in at 189. Ate a bunch of crap I should not have. 

Anyway, it feels good to be back. I've missed this.